- Kristyn Culliver
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MUM (Read for a Laugh!)…
Updated: Aug 7, 2020

Wake up
Silence…
YES, they’re both still asleep
Pry your eyes open, haul you’re exhausted body out of bed and get in the shower
Who knows how much time you have before the madness starts?
Shower, skin care (non negotiable), get dressed - ok feeling a little more human
Kids wake - time for breakfast
Hmm, who should I feed first - baby, 5yo or me???
Ok baby is now screaming, she wins
Prep bottle one handed whilst holding the baby and throw a piece of bread in the toaster for 5yo because she is now also out of control hungry…
Five mins of quiet time as everyone eats… BLISS
Baby comes off bottle
Baby spews all over your clean clothes
Sigh… and it’s not even 8am
“OK Sophia, go upstairs, get dressed and brush your teeth”
“Ok mum”
5yo goes upstairs
Continue feeding baby….
10 mins later I (kindly) yell from the lounge where I am still feeding the baby “SOPHIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“PLAYING WITH MY DOLLS”
“WHAT DID I ASK YOU TO DO WHEN YOU GOT UPSTAIRS?”
“I DUNNO?”
Repeat instructions again and hope 5yo actually does it
And repeat process again, this time telling 5yo her dolls will be put away immediately if she doesn’t follow instructions
5yo comes downstairs dressed - VICTORY!
OK brush her hair, pack her school bag….
“Sophia put your shoes on please hun”
Now I’m starving hungry and it’s time to leave for school
OK, grab travel mug, make coffee to drink on the way and tie me over
Look down at your top and remember you have been spewed on
Run upstairs to change
Hmmm, running out of clean clothes (looking at pile of washing on the ground)….
Find a t-shirt and run back downstairs
“Sophia have you got your shoes on?”
“Oh no, I forgot”
Ahhh, 8.27am, need to get in the car now
"Sophia come on, let’s go”
“I haven’t got my shoes on Mum! I’m choosing a toy to take to school”
“You’re not allowed toys at school hun. Get out of the playroom and put your shoes on”
5yo huffs and puffs her way to the shoes cupboard
Then has a fit because the seams of her socks aren’t sitting perfectly even on the front of her feet (yes she has possible OCD….)
Finally her shoes are on whilst you make jokes and jump up and down for her entertainment so as to avoid further meltdowns, because - can’t deal
Collect bags, coffee, keys
Oh and pick up baby….
Get everyone in to car (10 mins later)
Drive to school
Get baby and 5yo safely out of car
Drop 5yo at classroom
Ahhhh, made it
Anxiety level immediately drops
Get home, settle baby to sleep
Make breakfast (its 10am) and drink a litre of water because you realise you have had next to no hydration today
OK there is probably a couple of hours before the baby wakes again - YES!
Time to start work:
Mindset work Write blog Post on all social media platforms Check in on team Catch up on trainings Reply to messages and emails Plan future content Give love to FB community Miscellaneous tasks
Good list made, now let’s see if any of this actually gets done
Get in to flow of work
30 mins in, baby cries
Hungry again
Feed baby
Attempt to settle baby
Baby doesn’t settle
Pick up baby and sit on couch
Be held captive by baby as she doesn’t want to sleep anywhere but on you
Now I’m starving hungry again - ugh
Put baby down - she sleeps! Woo hoo!
Make lunch, eat lunch
Get back to work
Half the list completed!
Created some awesome content!
Had an adult conversation with a client and solved some problems!
Woo hoo - feeling accomplished!!!!
Grab baby, drive to school pick up
Chat about day at school, check out some work she did. High five her for an awesome job!
Start prepping dinner
Baby cries - hungry again????? Yup
Feed baby, drinks next to nothing.
Just drink the bottle damn it!!!! No luck….
Put baby down
Go back to kitchen
Baby cries again - feed again
Back to making dinner
Legit pick her up and feed her another three more times because - witching hour
Time for baths - run bath for 5yo
“Sophia, get in the bath”
“Muuuuuummmmmmm, I don’t wannnnnnnnuuuuuuuuuuu”
“Sophia, get in the bath”
“Mum, can I have a bath tomorrow?”
“Sophia, baths are a daily thing and are non negotiable. Please get in the bath”
5yo procrastinates for another 10 mins and finally gets in the bath.
Get 5yo out of bath
Bath baby, dress, feed again and resettle
George comes home, helps with the rest of dinner
We all sit down to eat dinner together
Pick up fork with first mouthful of food
Baby cries
Sigh….
Have no idea why she is crying
Hold baby and eat with one hand
Put kids to bed, George and I tag team between bedrooms until they are both finally asleep
Go in to bedrooms and realise your children are beautiful and you are so blessed and feel a little teary and realise they are so cute (a lot cuter when they sleep!)
Moment of gratitude
Go downstairs
Clean the kitchen
Make school lunch for tomorrow
It’s 9pm, really should be asleep by 10.30pm so I get enough sleep before the baby wakes for night feed
Go upstairs, wash face, brush teeth, get in to pyjamas
Ahhh, silence
Now I have an hour to do what I want…..
But what should I do???
End up scrolling FB and watching 50,000 Insta stories
Come up with some witty content to quickly post on social media
Fall asleep half way through posting witty content
Wake up 20 mins later, put down phone, turn out light and pass out in about 30 secs
All to do it again tomorrow
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Kristyn xx