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  • Kristyn Culliver

BEING UNAVAILABLE FOR MUM GUILT...

Updated: Aug 7, 2020


Today I lost it


First isolation meltdown (that wasn’t one of my kids)


Breaking point was my 6yo refusing to do something I asked her to do, yet again, after I kindly gave her an instruction. No is her new favourite word.


Needless to say it is not mine...


I can’t remember what my response was, but the decibels in which the response was delivered were louder than normal.


Today was the test. Everything was fine last week when my husband was on holidays.


But today with my husband going back to work, plus homeschooling, plus tending to my 1yo, plus completely cleaning out the rumpus room and setting up a space where Sophia could commence her ballet lessons remotely (which in essence is another homeschooling program to add to her regular school schedule)


It became all too much.


Not only are we isolated, trying to manage our emotions as well as our children's…


The last few weeks have been a massive learning curve in all areas of our lives for all of us.


And I am tired (I can imagine you probably are too)

Anxiety is at a new level

And it can be hard to hold it together…


Then, after aforementioned meltdown, Mum guilt starts to rise.


Which is a problem considering I made a pact with myself a while ago that I was never available for Mum guilt.


If you are feeling the same as a mother right now I want to tell you that I hear you and I see you. I’m right here beside you, navigating the waves as they hit, mostly unsure what the best way is to “navigate” and just working it out as I go.


My biggest piece of advice when Mum guilt hits is to remember that the one thing you are feeling bad about right now, is insignificant compared to 557,000 things you do you for kids every day, day in, day out to keep them alive and happy.


That one thing you feel guilty about, that plays over and over in your mind when you close your eyes and lay your head on your pillow at night, your children have completely forgotten about.

As long as they know you love them and you leave no doubt about that in their minds, they will be fine. They don't expect perfection (and you shouldn't expect it of yourself). It is good for them to see you have flaws and it gives you an opportunity to show them how we repair situations we may not have handled too well...


Because we are human after all


In my podcast The Doula and The Diva, I chat with my co host Claire about Mum guilt and the things we do to deal with the tough times.


Check out Episode 5 here (Fast forward to 11:10 if you want to go straight to the Mum guilt segment).


Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts or share your challenges and your top tips for managing Mum guilt.






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